You throw axes at FlannelJax’s. That alone sets it apart from most other places you could spend your free time in. Try throwing axes at miniature golf, the bowling alley, or the wildlife refuge, and at best you’ll be sternly asked to leave. It is a good thing that you can throw axes at FlannelJax’s, too, because it’s incredibly fun. Hurling a five pound chunk of steel with all your might is satisfying whether you hit a target with it or not.

Santa Joe

“Throughout the 90s my wife and I volunteered a lot for Toys for Tots — we love kids and the Marines,” said Santa Joe. “One year the volunteer Santa had to bow out. I was working in the warehouse that day, because I know how to use a forklift, and I thought ‘well, I’ve got a beard, and I’m fat,’ which were my two goals when I got out of the Navy, so I offered to be Santa that year.

Experience the Twin Cities: Festive Holiday Lights Tour

I have become a fuddy duddy when it comes to Christmas. Whereas when I younger I used to string together garlands out of popcorn for the tree, construct gingerbread churches complete with stained glass windows made from melted Life Savers, and wrestle the dog to the floor so I could tie a Santa hat around her head (she loved it), now I can no longer be asked to do more than record A Christmas Story so I can delete it the following August. Thank God not everyone in this state is a boor like me — going around to see the lawns of Minnesotans who are emphatic about decorations is one of the best parts of this time of the year.