Bacon and Beer Classic
Suppose you were asked to pick one food and one drink to theme a party after. Would you pick lamb chops and black tea? Spaghetti and chocolate milk? Croquembouche and kvass? Or would you do the only sensible thing and pick bacon and beer? I think you see where I’m going with this.

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The Bacon and Beer Classic is returning to CHS Field this summer to let us celebrate the supreme victual and potation combination once more. The bacon aspect of the frolic is covered squarely by the some of the Twin Cities’ best restaurants and food trucks. Last year we had treats including Angelina’s Kitchen’s bacon and provolone Italian meatballs, Stray Dog’s bacon sin roll cupcakes, Lu’s Sandwiches’ bacon and shrimp spring rolls, Elevation 5280’s little piggy hotdish on a stick, and dozens more. Naturally, an abundance of good old-fashioned regular plain Jane bacon will be available as well.

Eating bacon isn’t the only way to pay tribute to the perfect food at this jamboree. Ride on the bacon seesaw. Enter the Hormel Black Label bacon booth, and frantically try to snag coupons as they tornado around you. Witness the bacon eating contest, and cheer on six of our local heroes as they compete against one another to finish one pound of bacon first. The winner wins a year’s supply of Hormel Black Label bacon. Bacon!

But the Bacon and Beer Classic without beer would just be the Bacon Classic — which is to say hardly classic at all. Most of the beer served will come from breweries right here in Minnesota, including Utepils Brewing, OMNI Brewing Co., Little Thistle Brewing, Third Street Brewhouse, and Bald Man Brewing. You can meander from booth to booth with your own commemorative Bacon and Beer Classic ceramic cup, which you may find harder and harder to keep track of as the day progresses. That’s part of the fun!

The Bacon and Beer Classic will be held at CHS Field this July. To learn more about bacon, beer, and who’s coming to help you appreciate them better than ever before, you need only go to baconandbeerclassic.com.

Cat Video Festival

Cats never expected adulation when they first joined forces with us oafish monkeys. They simply wanted to eat the mice attracted by our granaries. If cats could comprehend just how much we love them, however, to the extent that our most impressive technological achievement, the internet, was invented for the sole purpose of celebrating them, then they’d surely appreciate it. Cats do think highly of themselves.

Are you tired of spending your evenings watching cat videos, alone? Then watch cat videos with over ten thousand other people at the Cat Video Festival at CHS Field! The annual bash celebrates everything feline as throngs pour into the stadium to watch 90 minutes of crème de la crème cat videos, each one submitted beforehand by you, the people.

You haven’t seen videos of cats being alternately cute, funny, and stupid until you’ve watched them on the Saints’ 50’x30’ jumbotron under a summer’s evening sky. The entire ballpark is done up in an apt cat motif with decorations including litterboxes and treats, and the especially exuberant attend in getups ranging from kitty cat headbands to elaborate costumes. If you haven’t found an occasion to wear your Garfield costume lately, the Cat Video Festival is all the reason you need to break out your lint roller.

At the end of the screening of the only kind of videos that really matter, CHS Field will launch colorful fireworks into the air. It is partly because of the explosions that guests are implored to leave their own cats at home, lest the stadium turn into a cat scratch fever the likes of which even Ted Nugent couldn’t describe. Service animals are welcome, although it seems like a peculiar kind of torture to submit a helper dog to cat videos. Alex from A Clockwork Orange comes to mind.

The Cat Video Festival will have all the food and booze for sale that you ought to expect at a Saints game, so it’s safe to go hungry and sober. One dollar from every ticket sold will go toward a worthy local cat-related charity, which is nice. To learn more about this August’s Cat Video Festival, just visit catfestmn.com.