Planning a wedding is hard. It’s stressful, overwhelming, complicated, and somehow gets increasingly expensive as the big day draws near. It’s no big deal — only the most important day of your life, right? But no matter how reasonable you think you are, planning a wedding can turn anyone into a “bridezilla” if they’re not cautious. So to keep yourself from biting off any heads, try these ideas to keep the bridezilla at bay!Guest List — Be Real!

A study published in 2014 suggests that the more people you invite to your wedding — and the less you spend — the more successful your marriage will be. While these two factors don’t directly impact your marital bliss (or lack thereof), they speak to a larger issue: are you valuing the people in your life, or the things in it? No matter our place in life, this is always an important question we should ask ourselves.

Keep it Short

Make the engagement as short as possible. This may seem counterintuitive, but if you have a shorter time limit, it will force you to make otherwise difficult decisions. You won’t have any time to second-guess your choices, which is great given the staggering number of them you’ll face.

Delegation, Delegation, Delegation

The less you are personally responsible for, the easier your planning will be. If you trust the taste and judgment of your family and friends, kindly ask them for help as often as you can. If releasing control is difficult for you, bear in mind that you won’t remember most of your wedding day. You won’t even notice the minor details you’re sweating over right now. Just let them go!

Pick Your Battles

If Aunt Lucille insists on inviting her strange cousin you’ve never met, and allowing her to do so would make every future family gathering easier, sometimes it’s better to give in a little in order to secure a long-term gain. Yes, it’s your day, but you’re not just marrying your fiancé — there’s an entire family that you’re getting into.

Embrace the Imperfections

Your marriage won’t be perfect, and neither will your wedding day. After weeks of searching for the perfect pair of pants for our groomsmen, one of them showed up on the day of the wedding wearing the wrong color pants. I could have freaked out and sent him back to Kohl’s to find the right pair, but then my wedding wouldn’t have been our wedding. Idiosyncrasies will make your day unique rather than imperfect.

Keep Perspective

Throughout the planning process, fill a little notebook with all the reasons you’re excited to marry your fiancé. When you’re frustrated, irritated, or about to lose your mind, flip through a few pages and remind yourself of the real reason you’re doing all this. Then, after the wedding, give the book to your new husband to read.

It’s not the wedding day that matters so much — it’s every day afterward. So take a deep breath and try to enjoy the process. It doesn’t feel like it, but the big day will be here before you know it!

By Whitney Grindberg